The mystery in my marriage is gone

Let my start off by saying my husband is a very very harry man but he wishes he wasn't, so he Nairs. Now normally he would buy this brand

Its made for men and according to MFKL works better because you can leave it on a little longer without burning the crap out of the area's your removing hair.
MFKL could not find this specific brand at the store recently, so he had to ask an employee with shame in his eyes where he could find the Nair. Because my husband wanted to keep what dignity he has left, said it was for his wife, so the clerk lead to this.

Like i said earlier MFKL likes the brand for men cause you can keep it on longer. MFKL usually Nair's the regular spots arm pits, chest, and pubic area but got some wild hair up his ass and decided to Nair his butt hole. Yes i said butt hole. I don't know if any of you have ever Naired, but sometimes if you leave it on to long it will give you something kinda like a sun burn and when your hair starts to grow back they can get ingrown and you get a zit type thing. Need i say more?

MFKL got a huge nasty ingrown hair and zit on his very sensitive asshole and mildly burned his skin where the sun most definitely has never shined.  Unfortunately for me on many levels my husband is a bit of a wussy when it comes to certain things and could not for the life of him bring himself to pinch his butt hole zit but was in, as he put it, a horrible amount of pain. 

So yet again with shame in his eyes, asked me to "look at" his butt hole. He spent several days trying to deal with it himself but was unable to relieve the horrible pain. So laughing hysterically told my husband i would totally "check out" his butt hole and if need be pop the zit bugging him. He was horrified that he had to ask me to do this, i however thought it was funny especially since i told him not to Nair his butt hole in the first place.

Yep the mystery was over, and the zit popped and you now know more about me and MFKL then I'm sure you ever wanted to know.

Serrenity Now Or Hoochie Mama Whatever You Prefer

So i have decided to quit drinking(not altogether, i will still have an occasional drink), not for the more obvious reason of possibly liking the drink a little to much, but because i am tired of my fat ass. If I'm getting technical its not my ass i need to lose (my ass is quite great!), It's my gunt or my not so lovely muffin top that i need to lose. I am confident that if i stop drinking all the excess calories and carbs from beer and wine, i will lose a fuck ton of weight.

I am counting on all of you to keep me honest and remind me why i am doing this because it will be a tough feat, for me. If you don't hear from me much after this first week, its because I'm in prison for running my husband over with the car and drowning my kids in the bath. Deep sigh. I know i can do this! I did this for over 4 years because of being pregnant and or breast feeding. Sorry i am trying to psyche myself up and its not working. You know why? Water doesn't taste like yummy beer or vodka and coke. (Instead of coke i wrote cock at first and laughed for about 5 minutes, before starting to write again)

You wanna know how serious i am about this? I have 5 gallons of hard cider that just got done brewing and i only had one glass last night and turned down MFKL for another. I decided waking up with a semi hang over the first day of my no alcohol diet would be a little counter productive. I could have had a few glasses already today but have showed a little restraint and have drank water and plain diet coke, oh and coffee lots of coffee. Believe it or not i don't drink as much coffee when i am drinking water. I should totally be in psycho bitch mode but i feel really great! I am hoping my body thanks me by shedding some of this weight i am carrying around with me.

Anyway, enough of the babbling bullshit. I am going to try really hard, i am excited to not be fat anymore. I want to be able to jump the fence in my back yard with more grace the next time i have to scare the shit out of the neighbor kid.

I love vodka

I most admit i have a soft spot for vodka and because vodka. I love mixing it with diet coke, with juice, on its own...oh do i love vodka.

My sister in law came to stay with us a few weeks ago and got a bottle of local vodka that i had never tried. As a ex bartender that's hard to come by! The name of it was Slap Tail, made it Benton county. It was nothing special on its own but mixed with some fresh juice was incredibly yummy! So yummy the bottle was mysteriously empty in the morning. Sooo i made my poor MFKL go buy me a bottle the other night after he worked all day and already had gotten in his pj's. I would have gone but had already been drinking beer all night. Now before i go and make myself sound more and more like an alcoholic let me post a few pictures. The first one is of that Slap stick my sister in law got and the other one is what MFKL brought home.

This one is called Web Foot, its the same brand just a different label. The labels are cute and the vodka not bad. I definitively give a recommendation.