Thursday, February 21, 2013

Adventure Time

I recently took my boys to the zoo. We had a great time, saw the monkeys, tigers, snakes, etc. Upon reaching the bats i was reminded of time that i was climbing trees with my mom, at night, and a bat flew into my hair a got stuck!

To explain this just a little better, i have to tell you a bit about my eccentric mom. She loves going on "adventures", at lest that's what she called them and continues to call them. These adventures could be anything from breaking and entering in a cemetery after dark, climbing trees spying on weirdo neighbors, messing with drunks, trespassing to get to a dig site, or abandoned home.  The list goes on and on. She started taking me on adventures when i was very little.

Just to give you a little more info on my mom, here are some "fun" facts.
*She believes in aliens, more specifically my little sister was abducted by them when she was 2.
*She believes Alister Crowley and friends have been trying to sacrifice me since i was born.
*She thinks our family has powers, mine being telekinesis.
*She is stuck in the 80's still to this day.
Sounds like fun right?

I think it might be appropriate to have a weekly adventure blog entry, most of my memories of these adventures are really funny. I don't think any adventure we had ever turned out as planned.

The night the bat flew in my hair was a hot and sticky summer night in Portland. I think i was 9. My mom and i had been on the roof of her shitty duplex with a pair of binoculars watching the neighbors for a few hours. The neighborhood she lived in was really fun to watch. Most of the people living there were just as eccentric as my mom or were on drugs.
We hadn't seen anything really eventful so we decided to take a walk and climb some trees. We didn't have to walk far to find something interesting.

We came across a man and wife arguing about cigarettes. My mom and i decided to climb a tree and watch the couple unravel. The man walked outside and started watering his lawn...naked. My mom and i were not very far from the man, and could hardly keep our giggles quite enough so the man didn't catch us. That of course was when i had a bat swoop down and get stuck in my huge 80's hair my mom had graciously done for me that night! I screamed, my mom laughed and the man stood horrified holding his hose, not know what was going on and not knowing how to react to what he was seeing. Eventually the bat worked its way out of my awesome hair and i was out of the tree standing face to face with the naked man, giggling uncontrollable again at what had just happened and the fact that there was a naked man standing in front of me watering his tomato plants. Needless to say we ran away laughing looking for another adventure.

My mom was at the zoo with me and the boys that day. I started laughing remembering that night, i started to ask my mom if she remembered. That's when she interrupted me and started telling MFKL about our "adventure". He just rolled his eyes and walked away quietly, lol. I think he has heard one to many "adventure" stories from Sexy mama. That's what she calls herself by the way, Sexy Mama.

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