Thursday, February 28, 2013

My love of booze was inevitable

I was trying to think of something mildly amusing to write about, and thought that you all might get a kick out of hearing about my first experience in a bar, or be forever horrified.

It was a beautiful summer day in one of the many trendy parts of Portland. I was 16, kinda wild, and hanging out with my mom. She thought it might be fun to dress up in wigs and pretend to be other people and walk around downtown Portland saying and doing weirdo shit and watch peoples expressions. This is something we had done many times and had a kick ass time. 

While we were choosing which wig to wear and how we were going to do our hair, she had the brilliant idea to take me to a bar, not only a bar but a shitty one run by a pimp she knew.

I won't lie, i was excited and little scared because i knew the part of town the bar was in and I'm pretty sure i recognized the name because someone got stabbed there the previous week. But i trusted my mom, or more like, wanted to see if i could get in a bar and drink.

So next we had to make me look older, and make up fake names. This was fun. This is actually one of my most favorite memories of my mom and i together. Because it was summer the air smelt good, the sun was out and we had classic Madonna (Her new music sucks) blaring while we shook our asses!
My mom wanted to wear the blonde wig, which was my fav, but she was my mom so i took the wavy brown one. We decided to make me look older, we would have to put a shit ton of make up on me and wear something low cut since i had huge tits. I remember very vividly my mom saying
"If you show enough tit you can get in anywhere" 
And you know what? She was right.

Now, as a mother i am horrified that there is a mother out there that would not only take there 16 year old to a bar but have them drive you there fully knowing they are going to drink. But as a 16 year old i thought this was fun and bad ass!

Remember me telling you that the bar was run by a pimp? When we walked in, literally the music stopped and everyone looked at us. My mom being the classy lady she is yelled this
"Wooooooo Hooooooo Who's gunna buy me a beer bitches?"
  I laughed all the half dead zombie looking people laughed and someone bought us a round. We were the hottest shit there. We had guys lined up waiting to buy us drinks and guys hanging on our every word. My mother told them we were sisters and she told them some of our adventures we have had.

I was a very mature 16 year old, mainly because of all the shit my mom put me through. But not all of it was bad and not all of it ended in a fiery explosion. I only had 1 beer but very much enjoyed the show my mom put on. She loved it, mainly the attention and free booze, but we both have fond memories of this. After she had to much to drink i took her home, put her to bed and went home myself. I was way to horrified from the shitty bar she took me to, and all the scary bar flies that looked pickled to ever want to sneak into one when i got a little older. So even though that was not my moms intention she managed do something motherly.

Then when i turned 21 i became a bartender, like my mom, and my aunt. In a shit bar where people call you cunts and do coke off toilet seats. I think my first experience in a bar may have had something to do it this decision.


I'm going to start writing some posts here and there, that are a little more serious then Nairing assholes. It wont be all the time but i feel the need to share more. Mainly for me.

All lot of the things i want to share, things i feel, i have never shared with anyone. I kinda feel like sharing these things might make me feel better. I also feel like i kinda need to share because i can't be the only bat shit crazy women who feels this way or experienced the things i have. So, if in the process of writing these things i lift some sort of burden off my shoulders, or make one person feel like they aren't the only one, it will have been worth my time.

Mama blog or Bitch log?

I have to warn you that this post might be a little..everywhere. My thought process jumps around a lot, for one of my posts to seem even remotely put together takes me reading it over and over and over again. Dyslexia and the inability to concentrate on anything will do that.

I thought i wanted to write a mama blog, but i am finding a lot of moms have very strict idea's of what constitutes a "mom" blog and will write posts and rants about women who don't fit there expectations of one.  I don't want to restrict myself or my writing, i want to write whatever the hell i want.

I feel like i have a lot i want to write about. Some of it about my kids and some of it crazy rants from a stressed out women who happens to be a mom.

I have a history, some of it good some of it bad. The thing is i would someday like to share it, all of it. The good, bad and the very ugly truth that has been my incredibly messy life. These things that i would like to share have nothing to do with my children, but those experiences have made me into the mom i am today. So if i am technically not a "mom" blog, or if i lose readers because its doesn't have the correct content of a "mom" blog, i am OK with that because i am going to share the shit anyway. So if you no longer want to read my "mom" blog because it doesn't fit your criteria, cool with me!

All of my weird issues, my depression, anxiety, neurotic behavior, all my ups, downs and all my struggles as a mom stem from my history and my childhood. As would most peoples behavior.

If your still reading, thank you for listening to my never ending rant.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

I'm a terrible mother

So, my 2 year old son has called my oldest boy a bitch twice in two days. I think it might be time to tone down my potty mouth just a little. They hear all the things i say when i don't think they are listening and hear none of the things i want them to hear.

Last night the boys were running from one end of the house to the other and this is what i heard.

Fire Ball: "You can't catch me Beefcake."

Beefcake:"I'm going to get you bitch"

I swear to god this is what i heard, i know this is bad and I'm a really terrible mother not only for my two year old saying the word bitch but for laughing hysterically before stopping him to tell him that its a bad word. 
Then this morning, (again not one of my best parenting moments) I heard the boys arguing about something in Fire Balls bedroom. As i grab my coffee to head down the hall, the kids ambush me in the kitchen.

Fire Ball: "Beefcake called me that bad word again"

Me: "What bad word" 
I really had already forgotten about the night before.

Fire Ball: "You know, bitch"

Me: "oh, that bad word. Well, were you acting like one?" 
As the words were coming out of my mouth i totally winced, knowing full well what i just said was not OK. 

Fire Ball: "yes i was, but that's not the point! He's not supposed to say bad words."

Has it really come to this??? My 3 year old is giving me parenting advice. I really am a lucky mama, to have such a funny, smart, loving little boy as my own and to keep me from failing completely as a mom. I am also lucky and blessed to have another beautiful, smart, pain the the ass son who is just like me.

A little about me

I don't think i have really said much about me and my family, besides drinking and sleepwalking and my kids are very funny. So this is my attempt at filling you in. If i leave things out you want to know or have any questions, ask me!

MFKL and i have been together for 7 years, we have been married for 4. He is 7 years older then me and we met at a party thrown by a very creepy guy. We both have dirty minds and love to laugh..mainly at each other. We have two boys, Fire Ball is 3 going on 4 and Beefcake is 2. My boys are 15 months apart in age. Beefcake is so much bigger then his older brother its funny.
This is a picture MFKL when he was much younger. This is one of the least revealing pics i could find, but strangely one of the most.

I have five sisters and one brother. It gets really complicated, we have different moms, dads, adoption. etc. That will have to be for another post. Four of my sisters are younger then me, and so is my brother. My older sister i kinda don't like at all, so i really don't count her anymore as a sister. I know that sounds really terrible but she is a really terrible person so i don't feel bad. My brother is the youngest out of us all, he is 15. My four little sisters are very close in age, Kiki is going to turn 21 soon, Brittle bones is 20, Stiff is 19 and Little B just turned 18 not long ago. Little B's name does not stand for Bitch by the way, i know it may look that way but we actually have the same name so she has always been known as Little B and me as Big B, which is funny because i am a big bitch!

Before having kids i worked for a concrete company as a laborer and finishing apprentice. I also was a bartender. Both jobs were so much fun, i have very fond and sometimes scary memories of them both.

I am trying to think of more shit to say but can't for some reason at the moment. So, a little more background, not a lot but its a start. Like i said if you have questions or comments please write that shit!

Monday, February 25, 2013

Good Friends and Good Drinks

So this weekend the old friend and i went out on an adventure. We both love music and booze so we decided to load up on both before we left her hotel room. After receiving many noise complaints due to our music and jumping on the bed, yes we jump on the bed and love it. We decided to leave and go get some drinks and make fun of hipsters, cause I'm in Portland and they are everywhere.

The first bar we went into had a really eclectic group of people in it. Being an ex bartender i know a group like this can be fun and entertaining. We ordered drinks and walked into the bathroom. What we saw made me laugh and gasp at the same time... I hiccuped in horror. There was a women doing coke off a toilet seat! Needless to say we drank our drinks and left.

We went to a couple other places but nothing note worthy happened. We drank, laughed, reminisced about being young dumb and crazy. We grew up in a very small town and had nothing better to do then to get in trouble. We did a little karaoke, and eventually made it back to my house.

The night turned out not to be as adventurous as i had thought, lol, i guess i am getting old. When we got back to my house, we drank wine with MFKL. He had somehow got the kids to sleep without a fight (a good man), but also fell asleep in the process. So the old friend and i drank wine and watched movies till we fell asleep on the couch.

Sleep disorder or Asshole disorder?

Why is it when everything seems to be going great, something happens to turn it into shit?

I had a really great weekend, actually the whole week wasn't bad. MFKL and i have been spending more time together, which has been wonderful. My kids have been extremely sweet and helpful, i had my old friend come stay with me through the weekend and my dad decided to randomly come over and stay a night this weekend. I was really busy and very tired,  but loving every minute of the last week and the weekend. I was feeling very lucky and to be honest a little confused as to what i had done to deserve such a wonderful life.

So last night Beefcake was really having a hard time sleeping due to getting his new back teeth. Both boys were in bed with us. Now thinking back i should have got Beefcake up and went into the other room so he didn't bother MFKL and Fire Ball but i was tired and didn't. MFKL just randomly freaks out and starts to lung towards me and Beefcake. I didn't know what to think, i didn't know if he was sleeping, if he was just pissed or what. So i grabbed his arm and pushed him off the bed. This did not make matters better. He just got up left the room and slammed the door, then i heard shit getting thrown and breaking all over the house. "Wonderful" was my only thought. I was sure he was sleeping last night, but now I'm not sure.

MFKL slept on the couch, this morning i still didn't know if he was having a sleeping issue, meaning his disorder or if he was just being an asshole. Most of the time its hard to tell the difference. I normally get up with him, make him breakfast, lunch and put his clothes out for him. Yes, i think i do to much, he is spoiled and doesn't know it. He actually told my dad this weekend that he does everything for me and completely spoils me. Which really pissed me off because its not true, yes every once in a while he will surprise me and do something that's amazing but not regularly, and honestly it doesn't matter to me, i am very happy how things are. Besides, i don't know a man that does, besides my dad!
 But i didn't get up with him this morning, i was still to pissed and because he had to "search" around for his clothes this morning he was late for work! He didn't think to look in his dresser or closet!

Yes, MFKL its going to take more then your naked James Brown impression to get me out of my bitchy mood today! 

OK, so thanks for letting me rant and vent! I am now done. Now that i have got that out of my system i will now write about my fun weekend with the fam.

Friday, February 22, 2013

New Adventure

Going on an adventure tonight, not sure which kind. I do know the old friend and i are going to have some drinks and have fun! I will post all about it in the morning, stay tuned.


I recently saw a old friend, who i hadn't seen in close to 6 years. I was so incredibly excited to see her, but i was a little ambivalent at the same time. This girl and i used to party, we used to stay up all night, every night. Do wild and crazy shit just cause we could.

A lot has changed for me since i last saw her, not only have i grown up(lol, not really, but close). I have gotten married and had two kids. I am not the skinny, young bitch i once was. I don't stay up all night partying. I stay up all night tending to sick kids, or dealing with my bullshit insomnia.

What i am getting to is this, this girl has not changed. She is gorgeous and single and young. I had some reservations. I wasn't sure if we would still get along, understand each other as we once did. So, with a little hesitation i grabbed my most flattering fat pants, a cute shirt, threw my hair up and decided to go meet with her.

It was amazing, we had such a blast. I am so glad i went out with her, it was a small reminder of things to come when the kids get older, when Workin Man Mama has a little more time on her hands. She didn't even mention my gained weight, she did however point something out that's way worse then my fat ass. My GREY HAIR!

Her words: "Wow, look at you all grey and shit"

I think i would have prefer "Wow, your ass has gotten huge!"

I think she brought it up knowing full well what my reaction would be. I got my first grey hair when i was 18, yes 18 and she made horrible fun of me then. My husband and kids have not been kind to my hair. Do i need to have it dyed? Yes. Do i dye it? No, not regularly enough apparently. My mom and grandpa are both completely grey, they don't dye there hair. In fact my mom looks scarily like a witch, especially when she throws her head back when she laughs.

 This is what scares me and this is why my friend brought it up! I don't want to look like a witch, but i do have the grey hair and i do throw my head back when i laugh. So with the chaffing i got from my wonderfully honest friend, and the new motivation to not look like a scary witch. I am going to go get my hair done Saturday and start going to the gym again, cause even though she didn't bring up my GUNT, i know its there.

So, thank you my friend for opening my married, tired eyes, and getting me out of my rut! I think this has been the most motivation i have had to kick my ass back into looking like a normal person (no gunt and not grey), since i had kids.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Adventure Time

I recently took my boys to the zoo. We had a great time, saw the monkeys, tigers, snakes, etc. Upon reaching the bats i was reminded of time that i was climbing trees with my mom, at night, and a bat flew into my hair a got stuck!

To explain this just a little better, i have to tell you a bit about my eccentric mom. She loves going on "adventures", at lest that's what she called them and continues to call them. These adventures could be anything from breaking and entering in a cemetery after dark, climbing trees spying on weirdo neighbors, messing with drunks, trespassing to get to a dig site, or abandoned home.  The list goes on and on. She started taking me on adventures when i was very little.

Just to give you a little more info on my mom, here are some "fun" facts.
*She believes in aliens, more specifically my little sister was abducted by them when she was 2.
*She believes Alister Crowley and friends have been trying to sacrifice me since i was born.
*She thinks our family has powers, mine being telekinesis.
*She is stuck in the 80's still to this day.
Sounds like fun right?

I think it might be appropriate to have a weekly adventure blog entry, most of my memories of these adventures are really funny. I don't think any adventure we had ever turned out as planned.

The night the bat flew in my hair was a hot and sticky summer night in Portland. I think i was 9. My mom and i had been on the roof of her shitty duplex with a pair of binoculars watching the neighbors for a few hours. The neighborhood she lived in was really fun to watch. Most of the people living there were just as eccentric as my mom or were on drugs.
We hadn't seen anything really eventful so we decided to take a walk and climb some trees. We didn't have to walk far to find something interesting.

We came across a man and wife arguing about cigarettes. My mom and i decided to climb a tree and watch the couple unravel. The man walked outside and started watering his lawn...naked. My mom and i were not very far from the man, and could hardly keep our giggles quite enough so the man didn't catch us. That of course was when i had a bat swoop down and get stuck in my huge 80's hair my mom had graciously done for me that night! I screamed, my mom laughed and the man stood horrified holding his hose, not know what was going on and not knowing how to react to what he was seeing. Eventually the bat worked its way out of my awesome hair and i was out of the tree standing face to face with the naked man, giggling uncontrollable again at what had just happened and the fact that there was a naked man standing in front of me watering his tomato plants. Needless to say we ran away laughing looking for another adventure.

My mom was at the zoo with me and the boys that day. I started laughing remembering that night, i started to ask my mom if she remembered. That's when she interrupted me and started telling MFKL about our "adventure". He just rolled his eyes and walked away quietly, lol. I think he has heard one to many "adventure" stories from Sexy mama. That's what she calls herself by the way, Sexy Mama.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Workin Man Fire Ball

My boy is pretty creative he has wanted a tool belt forever, let me tell you that its really hard to find a kids tool belt that isn't $50. So he used his head and came up with this idea. It made me laugh a lot. I'm not sure of the situation where you would need a saw, screw driver, letter A and a couple of plates but, looks good to me.
This was a couple months ago, and i did find a real tool belt for him. Lowe's has a really kick ass kids carpentry set for only $10
It even has rainbow suspenders, totally matching Fire Balls personality.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Today i got kicked in the vagina and had a penis on the back of my neck

My boys love to wrestle and i love to wrestle with them. The only problem is that they are getting really good at it! My youngest Beefcake is huge, MFKL calls him man child because that's what he is. He out weighs his older brother by 4 pounds.

Today we were wrestling, we had brought out the spare bedroom mattress into the living room so they could do cool wrestling moves off the couch onto the mattress. The boys were really getting into it and i guess i wasn't paying as much attention to what was going on as i should have been and got kicked right in the crotch, HARD. I don't know how Beefcake managed it but somehow he literally got me in the clit with his big toe! I really need to stop making fun of my husband when the boys kick him in his balls. This was definitely Karma.

While i was lying on the bed holding my aching verginer, Fire Ball tells me
"Mama, your not supposed to play with yourself in front of other people, if your going to do that you need to go to your room. Your know this...your the one who told me that!"

It hurt to laugh so bad but i couldn't stop. I finally regained my composure and told him i wasn't playing with myself, Beefcake kicked me in the pee pee. He just said OK and ran off. As i was getting up, a naked Fire Ball emerged from the corner of my eye and jumps on my back and says "DINO RIDE" Yet again i couldn't help but to laugh, i calmly told him if he wanted to keep his wiener he needed to get it off my neck. He thought he was so funny, he just laughed and laughed.

Cleaning and cleaning and cleaning over and over again

Just mopped all the hardwood floors in my house, haven't done it in two weeks, it felt wonderful to get it done. Turned my back for two minutes and the kids have snuck outside played in the mud and brought all of it, and i mean all of it in the house on my nice not so clean now, hardwood floors! This is all i have to say right now. Way to frustrated to do anything other then clean up this mess and start on the floor again. On the bright side the kids are now hiding in there room playing really nice since they know mama is walking the line. More to come after i clean my floors, really all i can do i laugh. It may be a sad sarcastic laugh but I'm laughing.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

My boy loves jewlery

A few days ago MFKL gave me pearl earrings for our anniversary. Fire ball loves jewelery, i think he was way more into my earrings then me. Before i could even say thank you to MFKL Fire Ball said "oh my mama, these are so beautiful. They will go very nicely with your necklaces papa got you!"
I'm totally not making this shit up! Fire Ball is definitely his own man, he is very sensitive and very smart.

A few weeks back i decided to wear my pearl necklace when we went out. It's not to often that we go out and usually when we do i am lucky if i am wearing jeans, let alone jewelry. Which if i am being honest am not a huge fan of wearing anyway. But here i was wearing my pearls and right before we leave Fire Ball walks to me and sit by me on the couch. This is what he said.

Fire Ball: Mama, your wearing your pearls. They look very beautiful on you. Can i touch them?

Me: Sure sweetie, just be careful. 

Fire Ball: (now cupping the pearls gently in his tiny hand) These are so beautiful, really lovely mama. 

Me: I'm glad you like them, when you grow up if you have a little girl i will give her my necklace when she gets old enough to take care of it.  

Fire Ball: No, i think that i want them. They are very beautiful and i think they would look good on me. Also i think i want to pearl bracelet to go with the necklace, OK mama? Valentines is coming up so you remember that! 

At this point i was laughing so hard i could not respond to him. I love my boys. I know i bitch about all three of them a lot, but i am so in love with each of them. They are all very unique and have funny little quirky things they say and do daily that makes me smile and love them so much!

Enough of this mushy shit, Fire Ball is funny right? You should check out some of my other post about funny shit my boys say.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Ultra quirky tot!

Hey everyone,

I wanted to share a really rad toddler website, they have everything. Toddler toys, furniture, bedding, personalized items and also some really cool  things for mama!
Since it is almost valentines day, they have a selection of valentines gifts for your sweet little ones.
The things i really thought were cool were the personalized gift baskets, i know my boys especially Fire Ball would be ecstatic to get one of these from mama.
When you go to check out her website make sure you click on the toddler furniture section. They can make you a personalized toddler sized rocking chair, they have one that has a little spot on the side to hold your books. I have been looking for one of these for a long time, Fire Ball is a huge fan of sitting in the rocking chair with mama and reading. So i think i know what he will be getting for his upcoming birthday!
Take two minutes to check out her awesome website, its totally worth it!

I almost forgot when you do check out her site and find something you like, use the coupon code
'workingmanmama' to get 10% off your entire order. The code will be good till Feb 28th!

Monday, February 11, 2013

Conversation between brothers

The boys were preoccupied one night so MFKL and i decided to take to opportunity to go have a mini make-out session. It didn't take but 2 minutes for the boys to realize we were not in the room with them anymore and decided to come find us. Naturally we heard the stamped all the way from the other side of the house and waited for them to come body slam us on the bed. But instead we heard them talking in the hall outside our room. The conversation went something like this...

Fire Ball: Beef cake you don't want to go in there

Beefcake: Why Fire Ball?

Fire Ball: Mama and Papa are being really gross, there having sex

Beefcake: Sex?

Me: No were not, were just kissing Fire Ball

 Fire Ball: I know what your really doing, and i know what sex is. 

Me: You don't know what sex is, were just kissing and kissing is not sex. 

Fire Ball: (Big sigh) I know what sex is, I'm not dumb Mama

Me: Sex is a grown up word, when you get to be a little older i will explain to you what it is and you will be really grossed out! Until then i don't want you talking about it unless its a question for Mama or Papa. Ok? 

Fire Ball: I'm not a kid, (walking away, leading his brother down the hall). Beefcake don't go in there...there's sex in there. 

Fire Ball says some of the funniest shit! I don't think we have ever talked about sex in front of him and don't generally watch things on t.v. around the kids that have questionable material for toddlers. The boy is to smart for his own good.

I have a question for you all, when is a good time to tell your kids about sex? At least answer general questions? Fire Ball is only 3 and i think a little young to be introduced. MFKL and i are very candid and open people so when we do share I'm sure he will be disgusted especially since he thinks vagina's are really gross. But that's another blog entry in itself!

I love vodka

I most admit i have a soft spot for vodka and because vodka. I love mixing it with diet coke, with juice, on its own...oh do i love vodka.

My sister in law came to stay with us a few weeks ago and got a bottle of local vodka that i had never tried. As a ex bartender that's hard to come by! The name of it was Slap Tail, made it Benton county. It was nothing special on its own but mixed with some fresh juice was incredibly yummy! So yummy the bottle was mysteriously empty in the morning. Sooo i made my poor MFKL go buy me a bottle the other night after he worked all day and already had gotten in his pj's. I would have gone but had already been drinking beer all night. Now before i go and make myself sound more and more like an alcoholic let me post a few pictures. The first one is of that Slap stick my sister in law got and the other one is what MFKL brought home.

This one is called Web Foot, its the same brand just a different label. The labels are cute and the vodka not bad. I definitively give a recommendation.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Still sick, but hangin in there

Still sick unfortunately, I'm hoping i feel better tomorrow. My fever broke about an hour ago and still got a lot shit done! I did the dishes, made pasta for the fam, built a tent for the kids to distract them from still being sick. Although it seems they are doing much better then mama. I got all the laundry done and almost all of it put away!

I am exhausted MFKL is now home and i am going to take some medecine take and bath and watch a really terrible movie.
All 3 of the boys are argueing about something so i have to go intervien before someone hurts someone else.

I promise tomorrow i will have a better blog post! Something more then bitching about being sick! Luckily i hardly get sick so this wont happen again for a while...i hoping.

Monday, February 4, 2013


So why is it when your whole family is sick including you, you don't get to be "sick"?
What i mean by this is mom's don't get the luxury to lay around drink tea, take naps, and pass out in a drug induced sleep.

My kids are both sick, because of me. I feel terrible, about getting them sick and just terrible in general. BUT, i still have to clean the house, clean up puke, rub feet and achy backs, make dinner. All while trying to keep it together. I do all of these things daily (not the puke luckily), whithout complaining...most of the time. I love my boys, i love rubbing there tiny feet and doing anything and everything i can to make them happy and comfortable on the daily.
But, i am exhausted. I just wanna take a huge swig of nightquil and pass the fuck out!

Currently my boys are both sleeping. It however is 5pm and they fell asleep around 4 watching a national geographic show about snakes. Earlier this afternoon we all took some medicine to make us feel better. I was hoping that the medicine would make us all a little drowsy and i could take a nap with the kids. But no! It did make the boys feel better, which i was aiming for. But it just gave them more energy to be a pain in my butt (Yes even my butt hurts literally, my whole body aches). So no nap for mama.

We did have some fun today, both boys got to take long hot bathes. They painted, we brought out the spare bedroom mattress into the living room to get cozy but ended up making a really rad fort. I am just afraid now that they are napping they will never go to sleep tonight. I feel bad for my husband because i am more cranky then normal, the kids are bitchy and i am to exhausted and disgusting to fool around with.

Did i mention i HATE BEING SICK?!!!

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Cooking Part 2

So to elaberate a little more on my last post.
I had been cooking all day or at least it felt like all day, a few hours. I made pasta sauce, a cheese plate for the kids, cheese burgers, rice and a few other things for dinners during the week. I think that preparing the meal partially on Sunday not only saves time but also my sanity during the week!

I decided to take a 5 min mama break in my bedroom, have a drink and get away from the kids while i calmed my nerves and made a to do list for Sunday before the game. 
Ball of fire comes in my room and asks me what I'm doing, and this is how the conversation went...

Ball of fire: Hey mama what are you up to?

Me: Not much just taking a mama break what are you up to?

Him: Oh, not much just wanted to give you a kiss

Me: Thank you, you are sooooo sweet,

Ball of fire: Mama you smell good, did you take a shower? You smell, you smell like a cheese sandwich. 

Me: (laughing) Oh yeah, is that a good thing?

Ball of fire: Yeah, it a great thing, i love cheese sandwiches!

Lol, my little ball of fire is so funny and sweet sometimes.

Saturday, February 2, 2013


So apparently i smell like a cheese sandwich according to Fire Ball, and that's a good thing lol.

I will expand on this more tomorrow as i have taken some Diphenhydramine and drank some beer so i am ready to pass out!

Friday, February 1, 2013

Lady Cave

Recently i have been trying to clean my "Lady Cave", it has been a disaster since Christmas and no I'm not talking about my verginer. Although lady cave does sound dark, wet, and kinda scary. Which some vagina's are. lol. I know my humor is that of a 12 year old boy, sorry!
What i am talking about is my garage. Since Christmas it has been covered in wrapping paper and empty boxes (I now have vagina's on the brain "empty boxes". Giggling)

My boys and i have been trying to get everything cleaned up so i can have someplace of my own in my house. Somewhere, if I'm there MFKL and the kids know not to bother me! While we have been cleaning and jamming out to butt rock, we have been doing some pretty rad projects.

I found these Build and Grow kit projects at Low's. They provide all the materials to build things like monster trucks, race cars, buses and tractors. The kids had a blast and so did i until Enzo hit the end of my thumb with the hammer! This happened two days ago and it still hurts. But i totally recommend them if you have kids 3 or up. They say 5 and up but Enzo is only 3 and totally rocked it!

Back to the lady cave. Before Christmas it was way clean, enough i could exercise... if you can call drinking beer and dancing exercising. But i do have grand plans for it. MFKL makes great home brew and we really want to make a kegerater. Guess where that will be kept????? That's right i will have a kegerater in my Land Cave. I also have my bow flex, a gift from my mother in law... she is a bitch, the same weekend she gave me the bow flex she also brought over 2 dozen donuts! Mixed signals? Mixed bitchiness? She is a whole other blog post. But i might start using the damn bow flex again if the lady cave is clean and not smelly, due to garbage.

Do any of you have Lady Caves? If you do i would love to see pictures...Of your Lady Caves not your spice girl.

I will have pictures up soon, i seem to have misplaced my camera since Mutha Fuckin Kenny Loggins used it!