Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Mama Time

I have been feeling kinda funky lately, not quite depressed or down but just kinda out of it. I know part of it has to do with my husbands sleep disorder, he has been acting crazy the last 6 nights in a row and it has been exhausting me. When he is on a roll like this its hard for me to sleep, when i do sleep its not restfull, i kinda just close my eyes waiting. I feel like I'm going to burst into flames or tears at any moment and either would be OK.

My kids have been acting up. I know they sense mama is teetering between mental stability and cooky as shit,  so they keep line stepping just to see if they can give me that little push i need in either direction. MFKL asked me last night if i needed to get out of the house he said i look like I'm going to break at any moment and well, yes i do need to get out, but not just down to the coffee shop to get a caffeine boost at 7pm.

I feel like it is nearly impossible to find good mommy friends. All the ones i have had, are either yuppie bitches that piss me off or they are terrible mothers and i want to kick them in the vagina. For this reason, i have either stopped talking to them or there was some kind of altercation that caused us to split ways. Most of my friends who are not mommies, are from when i was a bartender and only want to talk about how many cocks they can shove in there mouth while chugging expensive booze. I am at a loss, i need to find some new mommies to hang with and have fancy cocktails with or my good friends without kids need to start growing some babies in there respectable uteri. I need some mommies to hang with, at the very least i need to get out of the house!

Being a mother and wife is hard as shit! Finding the balance between my happiness, my kids and my husbands is almost nearly impossible at times. Living off one income is difficult on the very best of days. This, as I'm sure you know if you have experienced it, is very stressful, on everyone in the house. I think us moms try to take it all on. We try to shelter the ones we love and take whatever unnecessary stress, anxiety or worry from them so they don't have experience it. But, the fact still remains that most of us don't have an adequate outlet that lets us release all the excess bullshit we take from others, and thus we feel overwhelmed and ill-equipped.

Last night i took a little time for myself after putting the kids to bed and watching Jeopardy with MFKL. I love to take baths but almost never do. By the time i have the time to take a relaxing one, i am usually to tired to run the bath at lay down. I know that sounds strange but, its true. Last night i made the time to take a bath and i loved it! It was just what i needed, it gave me that extra little boost i needed so i wouldn't suffocate my husband in his sleep and drown my kids in the bath.

My girlfriend gave me a Plush bath fizzy a few weeks ago and i finally used it last night. It made my skin so soft! Let me back up a little, i planned my bath, lol. I lit some candles, i made a sandwich(yes a sandwich),  grabbed a beer and finally ran my bath and put a little music on. As i lay in my bathtub drinking my beer and eating my sandwich, i was finally relaxed, for the first time in a long time. Let me just add that i know eating in the tub sounds incredibly weird and borderline disgusting, but it is a almost mind-blowing experience. The hot water, the steam coming off my cold beer as i lift it to my lips. The crunch in my sandwich from the cucumber and pepperoncini's, all while the bath fizzy softens my skin and soothes my aching muscles. Pure nirvana. I know...I'm sick in the head, but it was relaxing and nourishing at the same time and how can you say no to that?

I was finally feeling better, not so funky, at lest i wasn't smelling funky. Because with boys lets face it, at the end of the day sometimes things are a little funky. I don't think i can tell you how many times i found mud, little sticks or even boogers from my boys in my hair at the end of the day. Yes that's a booger in my hair...sorry hunny..wanna make-out?

Today is a new day, i feel a little rejuvenated. My bath and sandwich made a difference. I know i need to work a little harder at finding time for myself, doing nice things for myself or i will end up in a bad place. As mom's we have a fuck-trillion things we have to get done everyday, and thinking of adding one more thing to the list is a little daunting at times. But doing something for yourself is a necessity, i have to remind myself this often. To keep a somewhat balanced household, i have to remember i am the middle piece that holds all the others together. If I'm falling apart so does the house, i may like eating sandwiches in the bath tub and that may make me a quirky gal, but I'm not nutty yet, I don't want to be out of my mind and my house to falling apart. So to keep that from happening i know i need to start making more of an effort of doing things for me...or i will go bat shit crazy and you know, we work hard as moms and damn well deserve it.


2 comments:

  1. Nourishing the woman inside of the MOM is incredibly important. We have to be all things to all people in our little family and if we don't remember to do something for us, then we are really no good to them! I am glad you got to have that bath and once I heard a lady at weight watchers tell another lady that if she wanted to get her mind off food she should take a bath, but the problem was that the lady said she actually loved to eat chocolate cake in the tub! hahahahahahaha! by the way this is Carolyn Coppola of Minivans, Meltdowns and Merlot. I hope you read my book because it hits on every topic that you just mentioned! I also have a dog blog and that is why you are seeing Leo the Basset! :)

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    1. Lol, i have not read your book, i plan to, but i love your Fb page. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment, i think i would have died laughing if i was in that weight watchers meeting.

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