Monday, April 1, 2013

Serrenity Now Or Hoochie Mama Whatever You Prefer

So i have decided to quit drinking(not altogether, i will still have an occasional drink), not for the more obvious reason of possibly liking the drink a little to much, but because i am tired of my fat ass. If I'm getting technical its not my ass i need to lose (my ass is quite great!), It's my gunt or my not so lovely muffin top that i need to lose. I am confident that if i stop drinking all the excess calories and carbs from beer and wine, i will lose a fuck ton of weight.

I am counting on all of you to keep me honest and remind me why i am doing this because it will be a tough feat, for me. If you don't hear from me much after this first week, its because I'm in prison for running my husband over with the car and drowning my kids in the bath. Deep sigh. I know i can do this! I did this for over 4 years because of being pregnant and or breast feeding. Sorry i am trying to psyche myself up and its not working. You know why? Water doesn't taste like yummy beer or vodka and coke. (Instead of coke i wrote cock at first and laughed for about 5 minutes, before starting to write again)

You wanna know how serious i am about this? I have 5 gallons of hard cider that just got done brewing and i only had one glass last night and turned down MFKL for another. I decided waking up with a semi hang over the first day of my no alcohol diet would be a little counter productive. I could have had a few glasses already today but have showed a little restraint and have drank water and plain diet coke, oh and coffee lots of coffee. Believe it or not i don't drink as much coffee when i am drinking water. I should totally be in psycho bitch mode but i feel really great! I am hoping my body thanks me by shedding some of this weight i am carrying around with me.

Anyway, enough of the babbling bullshit. I am going to try really hard, i am excited to not be fat anymore. I want to be able to jump the fence in my back yard with more grace the next time i have to scare the shit out of the neighbor kid.

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